There is this quirk in human nature that doesn’t serve us. The fact that we are wired for instant gratification. The easy route is the easiest to do. The one that gives pleasure right now. And often, the easy route is not the best choice. We fall for the fantasy of the quick fix, the immediate solution, the possibility of not having to work to get what we want, and ultimately we get nowhere.
How do we go against millions of years of evolutionary programming designed to keep us alive?
This is something I am struggling with constantly, that I have thought about a lot recently and have discussed previously. Reading Homo Deus
From a evolutionary perspective this makes sense. Your main goal is to survive and continually perpetuate the species. To do that, you need to take care of immediate needs such as hunger, thirst and sexual drive.
But today, survival isn’t as big of a concern as it was thousands of years ago. Or even a couple centuries ago. Food and water are abundant. Medical advances increase life expectancy. You’re more likely to die from overeating than from starvation.
In our modern world survival is taken care of. It’s easy. The problem then is what do you do next?
If you live your life only to survive, it doesn’t have much meaning. And if there is no meaning, why keep on living? You have to create meaning. It’s up to you. You can’t expect someone else to do it for you.
You want something. The catch is, you need to improve to get that. You know what you need to do (Even when you say you don’t, you actually have an idea of the first steps you can take). But you don’t do anything. It’s so much easier. Change is easy to understand, but very difficult to make happen. Insecurities, fears and worries rise to the surface and do everything they can to stop you from changing. Often they succeeds and you are left in a spot that is no better than where you started. Nothing changed. You’re in the same place. But you still want more. How paradoxical.
Can you imagine? Sacrificing short term pleasure, something you can have right now, for some uncertain possibility in the distant future? How absurd, right? Who in there right mind would want go forego something they are sure to have for something that isn’t even certain? Well, I believe that thinking is fundamentally flawed.
Though I do agree the future is uncertain, I believe it is worth thinking long term. To plan, to sacrifice immediate gratification for delayed gratification.
This is counter intuitive and certainly uncomfortable. The problem that comes up is that we are not wired to do that. We are programmed to think short term—it feels good. Thinking long term doesn’t. It goes against millions of years of evolutionary programming designed to help you stay alive, procreate and avoid danger.
The challenge then is choosing long term over short term. This choice, in and of itself, is a long term decision as we will see further on.
Choosing discomfort over comfort; new over old; pain over immediate pleasure for delayed gratification. Resisting temptation. Choosing change over sameness; hard versus easy; growth over stagnation; and ultimately Life over Death.
Over the years many studies have shown that delayed gratification is more beneficial to us humans. Most notable being the Stanford marshmallow experiment, in which children were told that if they resist eating a marshmallow for 15 minutes they could have a second one. Later studies showed that there was a correlation between resisting the temptation of immediate gratification and better life situations.
What will you choose? And yes, this is a choice, it is not an innate skill, it is something you can learn to do. You need to train yourself to choose wisely. You need to change your perception.
Humans react to two different stimuli, pain and pleasure. and the important point is that we will do more to avoid pain than to experience pleasure. So, if you want to start thinking long term instead of short term you have to leverage this behaviour. You have to imagine the short term behaviour as painful and make long term behaviour more appealing. Especially the consequences of these behaviours.
Choosing the easy route for me represents indecision, complacency, stagnation, decay, absence of meaning, anxiety, depression and ultimately death.
Long term, however, represents growth, opportunity, challenge, meaning, struggle, delayed gratification which is more pleasurable, work, the journey and ultimately a fulfilled life.
You need to repeat this to yourself constantly. You have to believe it. It has to become a part of your gut. Deep in the marrow of your bones. A habit of thought.
The trap is to be overwhelmed by the possibility of pleasure right now and be blinded to the consequences of these acts.
I don’t think life is supposed to be easy and pleasurable. I believe it is to challenge you, to make you push past failure, past pain and come out of experiences having grown and experienced what it means to be alive. Life to me has more meaning with the struggle than without. It is the force that resists you that ultimately benefits you if you choose to push back instead of succumbing to the force, cowering, settling for mediocre. We have need for resistance. You can even experience a kind of perverse pleasure from going through pain.
But to get to a state where you choose long-term over short-term repeatedly takes time. It takes repetition. And a lot of it. You need to start practicing these decisions more consciously. To ask yourself when faced with a decision, if it will benefit you in the long run, or if it is mere self-indulgence and destructive behaviour.
The thing is that it can be very hard to tell two apart. It can be deceptively seductive to choose pleasure. You might not even what to admit it to yourself.
The first step then is becoming aware of your choices. For if you are not aware there is no way you will ever change. It starts with awareness. Then progressively, you start to change, little by little. There is no quick fix. You need patience. This can be very frustrating. It’s a dilemma between understanding that you need patience but still wanting it now. This is particularly frustrating the younger you are because time doesn’t pass at the same speed. I am aware that what I am talking about is long term and that it takes a lot of effort. That is why it is very probable you will do nothing after reading this. But I am also aware that if you want it, you will recognise what you need to do and start doing it. That is why it is said that a student cannot be taught unless he is ready to be taught. Similarly, you cannot change unless you are ready to change.
Ultimately it’s a question of life or death, even if it may not seem like it. And that is why it is so difficult to change, it doesn’t seem to be a question of life and death. So if you want to change, make it a matter of life or death. Another thing to keep in mind is that as long a something doesn’t appear necessary, you won’t do it. Necessity spurs action. That is why people it dire circumstances will fight more, that is why a soldier will fight three times more vigorously if it is a matter literally of survival. You decide how you perceive world. You decide what you want. If you want to change, perceive it as a matter of life and death.
So what do you choose? Long-term or short-term?
If you’d like some more help deciding between the two I wrote a post on How To Choose Between Instant Gratification And Delayed Gratification that could be of service.
I would love to know your thoughts in the comments below. Do you agree, disagree? Do you have anything to add?