Have you ever beat yourself over because you wanted to ask something but you didn’t. And then went on to ask yourself, what if… what if I had asked the question? What would have happened?
This is something I’m working on a lot lately. Learning to ask for what I want.
The principle is simple. Ask for what you want. You’ll be surprised how often you actually get what you want.
When you want something, don’t downsize you’re proposition. Or try to seem more acceptable. Never assume the answer to your question. Ask it. You never know. They might actually say yes.
It’s about learning to stay unconcerned with what others think and acting.
Learn to stop making assumptions. Once you actually realise how much stuff you assume, it will be eye opening. A lot of the time I assume the answer is going to be no, so I don’t ask the question. In effect, I’m right, the answer is no. But now, more and more, when I catch myself assuming the answer will be no, I take a step back, and ask myself Do I know for a fact that the person will say no? Virtually every time I cannot be 100% certain. That then sparks another question: What if they said yes? Then, I ask what do I have to loose by asking?
Usually the outcome of asking my question has a potentially very high upside for a very limited downside, if there even is one at all. I am then logically bound to act.
We all have to face random excuses that we might conjure up, but if you have nothing to loose and everything to gain, you simply have to act and get over with it.
Don’t concern yourself with the opinons of others. If they like it. Good. If they don’t. Good. Why would you get upset? You simply gained information. Adapt to this new information if necessary or move on. Don’t apologise for asking a question.
It’s a simple formula:
- You want something.
- You ask for it.
- You either get it or you don’t.
Scratch your own itch. Ask that question. Don’t wait for someone else to do it for you. Solve your own problem.
The more you do this the more confident you get at asking for what you want. It’s no big deal when you think about it. But we always make it a big deal in our heads.
Give it a try.
Next time you want something. Ask for it. Unapologetically. Wait for the answer. See what you get. You might be pleasantly surprised.